But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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