...so i touched it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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