does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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