You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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