dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no, he came in my armpit
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
