I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
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getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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