GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
