So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
