# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
