Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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