I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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