In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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