well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
