I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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