Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
