I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
