just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
