arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
