bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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