your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
