Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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