a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Drake has all the answers
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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