well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
