Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
