I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
