Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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