I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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