Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
