he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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