Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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