Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
