Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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