nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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