Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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