Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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