I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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