this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
