I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Duck Duck Cougar?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize