I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
