I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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