and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
