Christians are straight up FREAKS
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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