Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
