I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
