That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
