i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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