last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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