"it" just moved
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She announced her abortion via fbk
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
