My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
