I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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