so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
