no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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