im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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