Tell her she can't have a vagina
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
