He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
