Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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