Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Brb crying the tears of my youth
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
