Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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