I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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