he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
