he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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