I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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