I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
