youre lurking in front of me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
