White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
