yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
